Myself Pushed Out

 

I Am

Saturday, May 4, 2024, 7:15 AM.

I will try to clear up the confusion, but actually, the confusion is what makes the illusion work. As I take off the garment of myself, I don’t see myself as becoming another being. I don’t go from being myself to being a Greater Self. When form fades, all constructs dissolve. I have to be the human I believe I am in order to believe that anything else exists. In this life-story, I am me and if I successfully eliminated me, this story would end. It would probably be very much like a dream to The Consciousness. For some duration, Consciousness would still be reflecting on the illusory experiences had while I was me, but it is not necessary to maintain the thoughts I had as me; all thoughts are things and clinging to one thought makes it harder to play a different role.

“I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.” ~ Philippians 3:13 KJV

Etymologically, “I” was the original, one letter pronoun for The First Person. It was originally the first person singular pronoun. Ironically, this is still where we are in the English language, but we use the term so loosely that we miss the original messages in ancient verses like the one above. It would seem Paul considered himself the first person in this verse, but if you will read it again, according differing values to “myself” and “I”, it reads much deeper into reality.

I=1=God

myself=reflected=persona

This is where “awakening” occurs. You begin to see yourself as a reflection of The One, rather than an isolated, self-propelled self.

Are there others?

Yes, absolutely. Here is an interesting way of considering this magical multiplicity:

Imagine yourself, as you are, in this very moment. Now imagine yourself on one side of a door, with all of the other selves in a room, on the other side of that door. Now imagine yourself as identifying as The I, and believing The First One who presently believes Himself to be you. Now you know you are not God, so you awaken enough to consider yourself as a reflection of God; only a character or a figment of God’s imagination. So you hear all of the commotion of the entire Universe on the other side of that door and you knock on it. Whatever is presently taking place in The Universe suddenly silences because of the knock. Now you can ask this important question: “How many of You are in there?”

Whatever the answer happens to be – 9 billion or 20 billion – you suddenly realize the answer is coming through the door as a result of the many reflections of The One; each with a voice of his or her own.

We are always reflections of One.

How do we have so many different personalities, languages and agendas? Each reflection, it is place, picks up a different reflection of The One. Only jewels placed close together will reflect The One in similar ways. You and a family member could possibly share many similar aspects or attributes of The One, due to the fact that families are always sewn into Indra’s net in close proximity.

The net, however, is only One Net. Suppose you could hover over this vast net and travel to a place, very far from wherever you are, to a time of sewing you’d call trillions of years ago. You’d come to a jewel, exactly like yourself, but reflecting The One from where it was sewn in. This would mean that every aspect of that jewel’s persona would be unlike your own. However, everything about that Jewel is a reflection of the One who gives you your personality, based on how He reflects from your place in the net.

The greatest thing, perhaps, about Indra’s net is this: we also reflect each other, perfectly; only seeing each other from our perspective, having been sewn in a different interval.

Of course we are all One, and of course we are many. This is not an alternating idea; it is the same idea, said two ways.

  

Reflections

What is a reflection anyway? It is a way of seeing what you were from where you are. If you look in a mirror, you will see what you were before you became who you are reflected. In the same way, thinking of some event in the past, you are considering what you were before you became the reflected image you’ve become.

It really doesn’t stop there; it never stops.

When you consider another persona, you are seeing what you were as that persona before you became the persona you are reflected as; seeing the other as the reflection.

You are myself pushed-out. Just as Goddard said. And me? I am yourself pushed out.

You may think you’d like to be able to outwit the illusion, but if you did, you would dissolve. What holds us together is what keeps us apart. Awakening is having it together without separateness, but it is better to know this than to experience it.

“For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us.” ~ Ephesians 2:14 KJV

What is “our peace”? He is. Who is He? He is The Awakened. He makes us One. He is the Wearer of all garments.

 

Why do we get so angry when we meet someone who behaves in some way we think of as reprehensible? We become the censurer of ourselves. There is a subtler way of feeling this way when regarding only yourself; you might hear yourself on a recording, see yourself on film or in a photo and you may even ask, “Do I really sound like that?”

I’ve heard many people say the following:

“I don’t like to hear myself talk.”

With this in mind, you meet a rude person in the store and you know that you do not like this person’s behavior. Likewise, you see yourself in some setting - having been caught on tape somehow - and you become almost as angry with your own bad behavior as you do with the behavior of another bad actor.

I’ve considered a recorded reflection of myself and hated that reflection as much as I’d hate the reflection of any other self.

What I am attempting to suggest is that the very nature of “others”, which disturbs me the most, is a nature I possess.

“Mark,” I imagine you’ll say, “You mean to suggest that when I meet an a**hole and thoroughly hate him or her, that this is some disturbing reflection of some sort of behavior I unknowably exhibit?”

I am sorry to say, “Yes,” and I will tell you: “The more you find yourself disturbed by that particular behavior, the more work you need in that area.”

You probably won’t accept this at first. There are two very difficult sides of this issue: 1. It asks you to think of others as yourself, pushed out (see Goddard). And 2. It asks you to believe that you can be an a**hole too.

I use Indra’s net quite often. It just happens to be an imaginary object I can put into words, but it is a myth. A myth, remember, is not a lie or a deception; it is a metaphor or a parable; a way of putting into words, that which cannot be explained in any direct, literal way. So, I will invent another version of Indra’s Net and I will use it here in the same way I use the net example.

 

Mallory’s Mirrors

Mallory is The Only One, who thot it’d be a blast

To stand herself a mirror up, to see herself go past

She caught a glimpse but did not like the way it made her look

She stood up yet another one, and propped it on a book

There, she thought, that’s not bad, but mirror number one

Did not like what she’d become by all that had been done

All the great reflections, right down to me and you

Are just those of our Mallory, having split herself into

When you see reflections, off by some degrees

You may not like the way you look, but your reflection sees

The way you look to him or her, from mirrors blurred and angled

Before you break one, remind yourself, it’s Mallory entangled

 

 

The origin of Mallory: Unfortunate