An Affinity For A Chain

As humans, we can have feelings and these feelings sometimes want to escape. It is extremely dangerous to use a chain of words to rescue buried feelings. A woman I knew was very angry about something one night and she wanted to pull this anger out to the surface; not so much to hurt anyone; she just needed it extracted. Without giving it much thought, she carefully tied her feelings to a bunch of random words and the feelings surfaced like this: “Go on and crawl under a bed and cry like you did when you were five.”

Her anger was so deep and so extreme that she felt she had to put a lot of effort into getting it into the open. She used the most hurtful set of words she could think of. When those 16 words came out of her mouth, dripping with whatever evil she has buried in her broken heart, the collateral damage was enough to end our relationship in that moment. Upon reflection, I don’t think her actual intention was to hurt me; I think she was hoping she could lift some of that tarry bitterness out of her soul and perhaps give some of it away.

This is why it is so dangerous to attach frustration to any series of words.

I am reminded of a time when Mr. Jones was out here on the property, using his enormous Caterpillar to extract some stubborn stumps. “Get me a chain.” He yelled.

I had a huge logging chain in the shop and I brought it to him. He wrapped it around the stump and asked me, “Do you have an affinity for that chain?”

The wording of his question seemed unusual, but I got the basic idea. I knew that he was indicating that my chain might be destroyed while being used to extract a huge stump.

Jones took the big chain, wrapped it around the stump and hooked it to the bucket of his big loader. His engine revved and the bucket creaked and popped and the stump started separating from a spot it had been committed to for 80 years. 

In minutes, there was the stump, dangling from the bucket of the huge tractor, with dirt dripping everywhere.

This is a good metaphor to keep in mind before you speak from your soul. We can all have stumps in our soul. Naturally, we want the stumps cleared out. The stumps can be emotions that have been committed to your soul for decades. They can be old scars from damage that was planted in you when you were a child. It is good to get rid of the stumps, but before you use a loved one as leverage, ask yourself: “Do you have an affinity for that chain?”

When we say hurtful things to others, it can feel as if we are dislodging some unwanted stump of emotion. We even say that we are getting something off our chest. It isn’t easy to see that you could snap a precious chain this way.

If you use a chain of words to extract hidden emotions, the chain could snap. This will be the same chain you would then want to use to reconnect yourself to the loved one.

What was Mr. Jones actually asking me that day? An affinity is a meaningful connection; he was asking me if I was connected to my big logging chain in a meaningful way.

In The Book of James, the writer says this:

“We bless God and curse people, who are an exact facsimile of God.” ~ James 3:9 MCV

The writer goes on to say:

“Can a fountain offer fresh water and salt water from the same place?” ~ James 3:11 MCV

We are connected to others in this meaningful way.

Some of us have enormous, emotional stumps and boulders; scars strewn across the landscape of our soul. Such souls are extremely rough places and the spirits who live in places like this are often fretful and sometimes, it feels necessary to clear things out to some degree.

Mr. Jones taught me to think about any affinity for the chains in my life.

So what do I do with this difficult landscape?

Sow your seeds in Love and reap in mercy. Sowing in Love takes away the rough places.

In this metaphor, the great tree is the self. We grow as men and women and we can even reach higher and higher. We can become shade for others and we can:

“Leave the stump with its roots in the earth.” Daniel 4:26

In the ancient text, the stump represents that which survives in the end. The root is still alive and capable of returning to a state of growth.

Trees are aware of this principle.

When a great tree falls, the forest remembers the tree and neighboring trees will sometimes keep the stump alive. One reason may be that the root system still hopes to use the fallen tree’s roots within the network. Another reason may be that the neighboring trees are willing to keep the fallen tree’s roots alive for its descendants. The stump could potentially return to the growing process again. It could support the life-story of another great tree.

The roots are something to consider. The chain is something else to consider.

Before you speak, ask yourself: “Do I have an affinity for what I may sever with my words?”

In most forests, fallen trees are here and there. In your soul, or in your heart, there is a forest and many towering dreams have likely fallen. Relationships may have fallen. People have said harmful things to you and this is debris in this forest. You may have been abused or mistreated or abandoned. These experiences tend to leave our souls littered with downed trees. We sometimes seek counsel to get the roots extracted. However, it may be best to leave the root and grow something better and more beautiful out of the system where some other dream has already fallen.

Remember this: The forest has an affinity for the roots of an old stump and you might not realize how much you might destroy by using words to smooth your heart’s landscape. You could sever your relationships and you could sever other relationships in the process.

Or

“He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.” ~ Proverbs 13:3 KJV